A meager swarm

Nate Silver, the best political pollster in the business, is “guardedly optimistic” that 216 House members will vote yes for HCR. I’d cross my fingers if such delicate manual dexterity was still possible. Thus far I’ve haven’t found one serious observer ready to wade the Rubicon and declare reform a done deal. And so I wait in puckered repose.

Dick Armey’s orchestrated assault on Capitol Hill will no doubt receive extensive news coverage. For some reason the corporate media enjoys transforming a gaggle of Tea Baggers into Joel’s Army. Using Texas-style mathematics, Village stenographers will add an additional six figures to a mob easily stuffed inside an average sized mega-church. A clever hack, Armey has removed references to the Republican Party’s generous supply of placarded outrage, lest a roving reporter’s tale of homegrown antipathy against affordable health-care be tainted by signs of RNC patronage.

I do like the “Ides of March” analogy uttered by Mark Sanford, South Carolina’s gallant Romeo. The image of toga-robed, knife wielding Senators saving the republic from an African Caesar’s attempt to reign in health-care costs is more colorful than anything J.D. Hayworth could whip up. Then again, J.D. might whip out another man-on-horse aberration to warn the “base” away from Obamacare. Lord knows what unnatural perversions Democrats have planned for Pop’s colonoscopy. Why right-wing grifters inject bestiality into political discourse is a question best left for abnormal psychology specialists.

At least Hayworth and Rick Santorum (Rick’s infatuated with man-on-dog coupling) omit sheep from their hairy harem. Thrusting out a wild poke, I suspect that probing an occasional ewe’s forbidden fruit is considered a rural perk among the “base’s” staunchest defenders of man-on-cousin coitus.
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I’m placing CNN on my no-fly list. Disturbing at it was that the cable news channel paid for Glenn Beck’s loony tunes, hiring Erick Erickson is the final straw. I won’t delve into the gory details concerning Erik’s contribution to brain-dead punditry. Confident that all three Juan Don readers are up to speed on the moron’s seedy history, I’m spared spending time rehashing Erick’s greatest misses.
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It appears that “Code Red” turnout was so small reporters were forced to guesstimate “hundreds” littered the Capital’s concrete. Although the national media is blessed with a healthy budget, justifying the expense of sending out camera crews to cover a “handful” can generate testy inter-office memos. Good thing Fox has canned footage of anti-war demonstrations to compliment hard news interviews with wandering stragglers.