Senator Jim Bunning (R-Shutter Island) is having quite a week. Jimbo really put the hurt on unemployed goldbrickers and Medicare reimbursement checks. I liked his thoughtful response when asked if he was concerned about the half million or so citizens adversely impacted by such principled devotion to civic duty. His reply was so good it should be the GOP’s 2010 campaign theme: “I Don’t Give a Shit”. The word “shit” conveys passion -- much better than poop or dung -- among the adenocarcinoma of American ‘exceptionalism’.
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Harold Ford II, the former Tennessee Congressman and current stay-at-home Merrill Lynch executive, has withdrawn his New York senatorial bid. Empire State progressives are roiling in tear soaked despair. Reactions from Greenwich Village are mixed as to recent developments detailing the depths of Gov. David Paterson’s idiocy. Rumors are that SNL’s Fred Armisen is ecstatic. It just goes to show that one person’s turd sandwich is another’s Quarter Pounder with cheese.
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Senator John McCain (R-Attends) has stumbled from age-related senility into full blown subcordical dementia. Perhaps David Gregory (tallest member of the Karl Rove Dancers) will conclude that McCain’s run as permanent guest host is a drag on advertising revenues. Not even a talent like J. Fred Muggs could protect Dave Garroway from television land’s fickle attention span. Now that Jim Traficant is out of prison and seeking to revive his political fortunes, Gregory should ask the morally ambivalent ex-con to replace McCain -- assuming Michele Bachmann (R-Seussville) wants to keep her starring role as Debbie Jellinksky in Kevin Smith’s new stage production of “The Addams Family”. (Pat Caddell is simply stirring as Uncle Fester).
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J. D. Hayworth (R-Bedrock), the bumptious former Congressman and Kid Rawhide’s stunt double, has decided that placating Arizona’s unknown contingent of ‘birthers’ isn’t worth the effort. J.D.’s handlers probably concluded that mob appearances with Orly Taitz might cool the jets of voters who breathe through their nose. Then again, the large-browed ex-shock jock could be fearful McCain’s psychiatric nurses will force him to show proof that he’s not a Neanderthal -- even though there is nothing in the Constitution that prohibits Neanderthals from holding public office or firearms.
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The more things change…
Once upon a time I referred to hitting the head as “taking a Nixon”. Years later Nixon was replaced with Newt. I’m still quite fond of approximating Newts’ true essence when flushing doody down the crapper. However, after due deliberation, I’m retiring Newt for another well deserving piece of fecal matter.
If you’ll excuse me, I have to take a big Stupak.
Birthers, the way our courts work is that you get a competent lawyer, verifiable facts and present them to a judge, if the facts are real and not half baked lies, then, and only then, do you proceed to trial. The Birthers seem to be having a problem with their so called “facts” that I keep reading about on the internetnt. Let’s face it no one will take you seriously until you guys win a case, but until then, you will continue to appear dumb, crazy or racist, or maybe all three. Keep plucking that chicken.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if she is a mail order bride, just like her law degree? She is perfect reporter material for “Fake News”, where unfounded rumors and innuendo reign supreme , unlike a our US courts of law. A lawyer, dentist, realtor and black belt, WOW I must say a JACK of all trades master of none
I heard that she now wants to investigate the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC). She wants to re-establish a family values party.
I can only hope that Taitz will resist the state collectors that will be hounding her like the “ruff ruff” that she is to collect the $20K.
Juan,
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to come to a place where Jim Bunning's eloquently expressed lack of sympathy for victims of his dementia can be freely explored without recourse to euphemisms. Since you opened the door for mental exploration, "I-Don't-Give-A-Shit," when you parse it, seems to be meaningless, no? Other than your astute point that the phrase has a certain emotional force—passion, as you call it—I can't imagine what the Senator could mean, were I to take his words literally and dispassionately.
Fortunately, though, during your discussion of the phrase you managed to interject the word, "adenocarcinoma" into the mix, a word, I confess, I haven't crossed paths with in my 51 years. Having to look it up and discovering that it is, indeed, a word with pathological significance—which I secretly feared out of pure hypochondriacal hysteria—I also figured out pretty quickly what you were trying to do and what Jim The Demented was trying to say: "I Don't Give A Shit" is code for, "I have colon cancer, and nothing else now matters."
So, Juan, I must thank you for clearing up this matter, in as delicate a way as I have ever seen. While some may have said, simply, that Bunning had his head up his ass, you very carefully made clear that his mind was on his colon, which, of course, is much the same thing, but much less offensive.
Duane
Preston,
ReplyDeleteIf I had the money I'd distribute "C Street Condoms". They would not be ribbed, as that would defile the act of adulterous procreation.
Orly reminds me of Cokie Roberts after a ten year bourbon bender. Maybe it's the eyes.
Juan
Duane,
ReplyDeleteBecause Bunning has a large head, I figured if he worked hard enough he could ram it all the way to colon territory. I fear that Orrin Hatch's rather small noggin can only squeeze about half way up his rectal passage -- otherwise known as "Craig Avenue".
Mom, still plugging away as a medical records 'transcriptionist', let me practice my typing skills by letting me use her headset. I still remember the various terminologies for a wide variety of nasty diseases and internal organs. I consider it my exposure to home schooling.
Juan