I was relieved to read that Jerry Jenkins, the Abbott to Tim LaHaye’s Costello, doesn’t believe Barack Obama is the Antichrist. “I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the Antichrist, but from my reading of scripture, he doesn’t meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the Antichrist will be an American”, said the popular pulp fiction writer. No longer using the Book of Revelation as inspiration for my occasional stab at mixing the action thriller genre in with Armageddon (I prefer lifting passages from Nelson DeMille‘s “The Hammer of God“), I’ll defer to Jerry’s expertise and cross Obama off my list of possible Antichrist candidates. But after revisiting old notes, I was shaken (but not stirred) to find the Antichrist shares striking similarities to Auric Goldfinger. If I detect any mysterious whiff of Pussy Galore within Revelation’s gory prophesy, I’ll fire my flare gun in the general direction of Jerusalem -- the official high sign for Hagee’s Military Warrior Support Foundation to look busy. The sooner we find this Antichrist character, the better.
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Odd that Karl Rove may have met with Georgia’s Mikheil Saakashvili several days after Dr. Rice’s July 9th private dinner with the comb-challenged president. Bush’s “brain” sure gets around. Attending a conference in Yalta with Saakashvili, Juan wonders what Bush’s nefarious election strategist was doing so far from home. Perhaps Diebold is selling magical voting machines to Eastern Europe’s fledgling democracies.
Sifting through mainstream news this morning, I found Matthew Mosk and Jeffery H. Birnbaum’s piece in The Washington Post exploring Randy Scheunemann’s connection with Saakashvili. Scheunemann, McCain’s top foreign affairs hack, was receiving hefty checks from the Georgian government until March of this year for lobbying services rendered; I’m sure that had no impact on the Maverick’s command decision to dispatch Joe Liebermann overseas. Good thing the other half of what Wolcott calls “The Sunshine Boys of Cold War II” is the perfect candidate to report back an unvarnished assessment of the situation. Meanwhile, professional neo-cons were rolling atop shag carpets with glee over the prospects of instigating WW III a few days ago; but now a silky radioactive mushroom cloud of doubt hovers over Krauthhammer’s black leather-lined study. Alas, the Russian bear has pulled back, dashing hopes of an all out shooting war between Blackwater goons and Putin’s KGB before Labor Day.
Pressed to clarify what he meant when saying, “In the 21st century nations don’t invade other nations”, McCain deftly ignored his support of the preemptive invasion of Iraq and recited a prepared statement condemning Russia’s swift military response to Georgia’s attack on Ossitia. I’m sure the Maverick’s bellicose disconnect tickles he feathers of ignorant war hawks; however those of us seeking escape from Cheney’s bunker tend to reach for more gin and tonic.
That’s a serious hint, Adler. It’s time you blessed the hovel with more English liquor and fresh limes.
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Thanks to one particularly disturbed acquaintance, I have Jerome Corsi’s heavily researched tome detailing the life and times of Barack Obama. I’m not sure what to do with it, so I’ll place it next to the slab’s meat grilling device and wait for inspiration.
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Does Pete Peterson work full-time or part-time for Hallmark? I’d love to have a collection of his quotes to replace my outdated calendar featuring Tarzan’s famous quips.
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Juan is going to a pool party this afternoon. He promises not run, carelessly misuse glass containers or engage in horseplay with women half his age.
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