Preparing for the onslaught of shitty weather, Beloved throttled our mottled Mazda up the hill to May’s City to stock up on heavily taxed distilled medicinal supplies. Well rested after an 18 hour nap, she felt frisky enough to brave Food for More or Less, stuffing her cart with big cans of Uban and various treats that are virtually impossible for me to abuse: thanks to her patient beatings, I have finally learned to peel the plastic off of frozen pizza before incineration. Mucho smarter than Juan, Beloved did not take our precious electricity for granted and purchased meat favorable to open flame cooking. (During the notorious December black out of aught seven we tore into charred bird like famished 12th century poachers). Although the liberal in me was pleased Empire eventually reconnected Chow Acre’s tenuous link to civilization, my inner Galt found wallowing in cold, greasy darkness exhilarating.
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No expert on the long term effects of Xanax abuse (in headier times pill-popping daredevils preferred Quaaludes for spittle-dangling repose), the drugged response by Republicans to President Obama’s SOTU address raises suspicion that the Party of No is hooked on what gets “Ima Kritick” through Oprah. I knew real conservatives weren’t going to wildly applaud an assault on Roy Blunt’s family business, but sitting in a catatonic stupor for 70-odd minutes usually prompts psychiatric nurses to check for eye pupil movement. Convinced obstruction sans principle is the ticket back to power, the Wrecking Crew is betting that dysfunctional government parlays into campaign gold.
And President Obama is betting they're wrong.
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BECAUSE THIS IS FUN: James O’Keefe III, the Dustin Diamond of Pajamas Media, has been ordered back to Mommy and Daddy’s tender mercy. Had House Republicans been on the ball, O’Keefe would have been the first make-believe pimp to receive a Congressional commendation…and then later be placed under parental supervision. Damn the luck.
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Now I know why Roger Ailes hired Sarah Palin. Adding collagen to rumors that she’s had plastic surgery, Sarah and her immoveable eyes brows resurrected ‘mandation’ from its Victorian tomb. Contrary to snide asides that panned Palin’s imaginary vocabulary, ‘mandation’ is an honest-to-gosh word. Although “memorizing sermons” is not even close to the meaning of mandate, using a word that hasn’t been uttered since Lord Randolph Churchill horse whipped Vicar Hungerford is worth something. I’m not sure if Norm Crosby is still alive, but I smell a summer replacement sit-com should Fox decide to exploit homophonic comedy’s limited potential. Assuming the worst and Norm is fly fishing with Slappy White, Steve Doocy already has the perfect name for Sarah’s daffy husband/sidekick.
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Northern Overexposure (Fox) 9:00: Suspicious that her cleaning lady is stealing toiletry supplies, Sarah enlists a reluctant Steve to install video surveillance equipment in the master bath. Hilarity ensues after Consuelo (Lupe Lopez) discovers that she is being videotaped passing water. Andy Dick guest stars as himself.
Juan,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in the business of challenging recalcitrant management on behalf of the union, we often fought over "mandating" overtime in violation of our contract. The short of it is that managers found it easier to violate the overtime rules—and pay the penalty for doing so—than actually following the rules. Needless to say, such a situation kept plenty of food on my table. But my point is that in all of the cases I had over the issue, it would have been quite handy to have had at my disposal the term, "mandation." It would have covered a multitude of chronic management sins.
In fact, I suppose it would have advanced to the point that all I would have had to do was stamp "MANDATION" across the case file and everyone would instantly know what the case was about and give me the settlement I wanted.
Your assertion that the word existed before it popped into our pin-up patriot's mind is quite interesting and something I will assume is true. But, damn, I wish I had known of it years ago.
Duane
I like the word. It sounds like damnation. Assuming Palin has a subconscious, mandation/damnation is right in her wheel house when operating on pure instinct. If it didn't sound too Robert Ludlum, I'd crank out "The Haitian Mandation".
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