*If Mark Sanford is King David and Miss Buenos Ares is Bathsheba, does that mean Lindsey Graham is Mr. Haney?
*Scott Meeker should fess up to a drinking problem instead of pasting in “Uncle Jed” horseshit. What, Rita Crowell on religious retreat?
*It’s never a good idea reprising last week’s crossword puzzle when lighting charcoal is the only other reason to fork over my Charm’s hard earned money for the Sunday paper.
*The combined batting average of the St. Louis Cardinal outfield couldn’t buy a warm beer in Busch Stadium.
*David Gregory is to journalism what I am to home repair.
*The human knee is proof that God is an Ernie Kovaks fan.
*Cats would make better pets if they were like dogs -- as in performing horrific bowel movements on the neighbor‘s lawn.
*Affordable health care would mean doctors might have to buy jumper cables.
*Glenn Beck’s next paperback, “A Fool and their Money…” will be available at all Eagle Lodge libraries.
*I tear up whenever I remember Mitt Romney made over a hundred million dollars.
*Compounding my persistent existential malaise, I asked my Charm to turn up the volume because I couldn’t hear tonight’s episode of “Merlin”.
*A cute convenience store clerk asked if I knew the “old guy” who was losing a struggle with bagged ice. I told her he was a high school classmate. Immediately after this exchange I relaxed my last remaining stomach muscle.
Juan Don
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