bad wheel

I blew my knee out…again…so movement about the hovel (dicey under optimal conditions) has been painful and problematic. The Zaap putter comes in handy as an impromptu cane. Had my injury occurred pursing manly endeavors the pain would still be intense, but bearable. Unfortunately the worthless knee decided to explode while searching for an electric scrubbing brush. To add insult to injury, the electric scrubbing brush was within easy reach had not dunes of clutter concealed the damn thing. My Charm, always gracious, is tending to my needs with Nurse Ratched efficiency. Tomorrow Chief Bromden and I are breaking out -- if we can open the intransigent patio “sliding” glass door. Weighing 1,377 kilos, the expensive monstrosity is a bane upon aging elbows and temperament. My Charm rarely swears, as she was reared by the Sisters of Incalculable Censurability. However, frequent fights with the “sliding” glass door taxes her straight-laced deportment, unleashing a torrent of naval slang when delivering daddy his over-the-counter grog. It goes without saying that fending off swarms of biting gnats does little to soothe her enduring menopausal angst.

Should a comrade read this, please bring the usual supplies with all possible speed. Accessing the mini bar is impossible. The galley is in disarray. Even now the damned electric scrubbing brush’s indomitable buzz is tormenting my ravaged patella; dark rum, please. And a decent merlot or four.
_________________

Sarah Palin, mob America’s sweet tart, continues to gain gravitas. Mercilessly lampooned by snide elites as nothing but a frivolous cumquat, the unlikely governor has landed on her corked sandals after an embarrassing flail at higher office. Putting her shapely shoulder to Alaska’s oily wheel and concentrating on state business, she is steering clear from tawdry comedy and Matt Lauer. In fact, Adler and I are so impressed with the new, serious ’Cuda that we’re thinking of approaching her about hosting our unsold teevee reality show. Undeniably better looking than Phyllis Schlafly, she has the perfect panache for “Get It Off Of Me!”…assuming herpetophobia isn’t an issue.
__________________

President Obama isn’t scoring any points with neocons. Not terribly fond of diplomacy, Krauthammer is pissy because the new owner of General Motors hasn’t bombed Iran into thermonuclear glass. There is no better way to bless Beck’s tortured take on Tom Paine than slaughtering innocent civilians for freedom. Iran’s homegrown revolt against repressive theocracy cannot succeed without Operation Iraqi Freedom homers playing deskbound commandos. Henry Kissinger, who has mildly praised Obama’s cautious approach, will soon get the hairy eyeball from Rush Limbaugh and Fox News’ bevy of blond princess warriors.

Juan Don