Michael Alan Weiner Savage won’t be “swingin’ like a pendulum do” in England anytime soon. The stiff-lipped Brits have placed the goateed crank on their list of undesirables. On the bright side, Weiner Savage is finally sharing AP wire space with ‘fag hater’ extraordinaire Fred Phelps. Maybe the international notoriety will offset his disappointment over a missed opportunity to display his acting chops on an upcoming episode of “24”. Due to CDC issues, Weiner Savage was unable to portray himself saving Alexandria, Virginia from queer infidel infestation. (The climax features the talk radio asshat foiling cross-dressing Muslims from jamming Joe 'da Plumber's ‘gaydar’). Hopefully the show’s producers find Laura Ingraham a suitable celebrity replacement. I’m biting my nails in neurotic anticipation, especially if she performs ‘al natural’ and forgoes chin electrolysis.
The GOP might regain a semblance of respectability by giving Joe the Plumber plane fare back to Ohio -- tacking on theologian to his list of hobbies does stretch the tarp rather tight. At the very least, political operatives handling his press access should limit ‘stultus est sicut facit’ soliloquies to magazines that target tractor pull enthusiasts. (Yes, Roy, I’m poking fun at people who pay money to watch farm machinery lug dead weight).
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I know I’m just another liberal elitist, but does Bristol Palin really represent the best spokesperson for teen sex abstinence? Without sounding too judgmental, couldn’t Candies have found a plausible virgin to promote their laudable goal? Perhaps there is generous leeway that allows for at least one mulligan. I’m guessing that twins would get a drop; extra points for providing examples of unplayable lies.
*Stupid is as stupid does.
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