darryls and dragons

This headline grabbed me (figuratively) this afternoon: SESSIONS THOUGHT KKK WAS OK UNTIL HE FOUND OUT THEY SMOKED POT. The Sessions in question is Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions, known to Mobile rib joint patrons as Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.

Imagine you’re enjoying old fashioned white supremacy companionship…and then several sheeted yahoos ruin the high by lighting a fatty from the cross burning in some Jew’s front yard: a buzz kill to be sure. Such acts of beatnik behavior demean Christian symbolism inherent in hooded race baiting. Decorum gentleman, please. If Charlton Heston* had wanted white male bigots to smoke pot He would have made their fingertips less sensitive to lighted roaches.

I’m curious as to how many Klaven meetings J. Beauregard attended before smelling a rat. Didn’t alarm bells go off after the giggly Cyclops was banned from Shoney’s all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet? Did he really think Delmar’s little alligator clip was used for extreme outdoor grooming? His inattentiveness to detail is disconcerting. How can Sean Hannity be sure he’ll expose non-originalist Supreme Court Justice nominees if blind to activities commonly associated with Chicago street thugs? Already quoted as being somewhat cool with a practicing homosexual sitting on the court, the Alabama Republican is making strict originalists jumpy. (Combining jumpy with originalists may or may not be an oxymoron. Perhaps George Will can take time away from disproving Newton’s Second Law of Motion to provide clarification).

It’s hard to fathom that our Founding Fathers would have considered a lady of Puerto Rican decent suitable Supreme Court material. And Clarence Thomas’ vote would have been worth three fifths, creating mathematically ’fuzzy’ decisions back when the Second Amendment and candle power still had meaning.

Sadly, Rep. Michele Bachmann’s erratic talent would have been wasted in a locked attic.
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Joe the Plumber has left the GOP. Good lord, who’s next?

*Charlton Heston was the voice of God in The Ten Commandments. Mr. Yellowman says it was Donald Hayne but he’s been under considerable strain of late.

Juan Don