Senator David Vitter (R-LA) has been slow to question Tangipahoa Parish justice of the peace Keith Bardwell’s resolve not to marry mixed raced couples. Bardwell, known to sing Jubilation T. Cornpone after blushing brides officially become patrilocal property, doesn’t believe black-on-white breeding produces show quality pups. Bayou Bob Maggiteaux, Bardwell’s barber, is pretty sure Keith’s ugly encounter with his neighbor’s Dalmatian caused an aversion to spots.
“You’ll never see him wear polka dot shirts or enter a circle drive,” said Bayou Bob.
When asked if racism plays a role in the justice’s refusal to follow state law, Bayou Bob replied, “As far as I know he’s never been to the dog track.”
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I wrote Senator Claire McCaskill an e-mail asking her to please contact Anson Burlingame. I’m sure that his Red Team collection of north side Joplin conservatives could provide her with invaluable insight as to why they’re still sending Jim Talent money.
Preternaturally helpful, I’d like to offer Anson a few suggestions should he decide to re-name his blog. There’s nothing wrong with Shaker simplicity. But a splash of color is always refreshing. Approaching winter’s promise of monotone blues can always use a little orange peel to pucker the soul.
Please keep in mind that I’m on my second or third post-brunch Bloody Mary; Muse is still encased in wool toe socks. Up periscope:
Brace Yourself
Ding, Ding, Ding: Dive! Dive!
Okay! Okay! Sixty Percent
The Dromophobic Flaneur
I'm Not Paying for That (Not that I do Anyway)
Pruning the Nodical Hydrath
Country Club Cracknel
Damn this Thing!
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And now I must wash thoroughly before my two O’clock laparoscopic hepatic resection. The nurses become edgy if I wander into surgery in sweat pants and Bugle Boy pullover.
Juan Don
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