Nice headline: Trump Claims Obama Fathered Two Black Girls
Back in the day I called taking a shit voting for Nixon. In the 80s it was amended to pinching off a Ronnie. The 90s was squandered as a corporate stooge and a corporate stooge is lucky to hit the pot, much less name an evacuation; too bad. I could have nudged the Senior Vice President of Sales and said, “Hey, Chip, check out the Greenspan I just deposited. I’m pretty sure that bad boy is over the weight limit.”
The Donald has revived my interest in scatological driven juvenilia. Less than fifteen minutes ago reheated burritos demanded a curtail call. Before flipping the handle -- there’s a trick to it or the next customer is literally faced with ugly brown leftovers -- I stared down at my work and thought, The Donald. From now on my poop will become another Trump trademark.
“Hold that boring fifteen minute joke, Steve. I have to release The Donald.”
“Honey, you have The Donald on your flip-flop.”
Maybe I have this backwards. Taking a Trump makes more sense; so does dumping a Trump. But Trump isn’t a pleasing sound -- too close to pump or stump or lump or comb-over. Trump has his own cologne. During my blackout era, “seeing” a hygienically indifferent Rumanian witch, there were times when I came to in my glove box wearing a stench similar to what The Donald pimps. A nice young man is driving my old Subaru wondering why the car always smells like a 4th century enema. He learned a bitter lesson: Some deals really are too good to be true.
The Trump/Obama headline took me a minute, then I started laughing to the point of personal embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteKeith,
ReplyDeleteThe Trump thing is weird. I read today that The Donald was in Vegas dropping the fuck bomb right and left to a gaggle of Republican ladies. He really does have a cologne on the market: Trump the Fragrance.
Jesus” General has already had fun describing the toilet water’s manly bouquet.
Cards pulled out an extra-innings win tonight. Maybe I can finally shove the padded tooth pick up my “cave of shame .” It is Friday. And having a puckered brown eye is not how I like to start the weekend. But Westbrook is pitching tomorrow. I see a rubber game on Sunday.