pre-night out with Beloved

Political Science: The difference between Democrats and Republicans is Democrats offer bread with their circus.

Americans have been conditioned to watch literally anything that radiates through a television screen. A majority of Americans believe what they’re watching is real. While America is occupied with television, Wall Street, Chamber and Commerce ransack the family room. The irony is that many viewers own Chinese burglar alarm systems. Frank Cannon, also known as “Fat Man”, says this is called “creating a diversion.”

People in Hell really do want ice water if God speaks through Glenn Beck.

I’m no longer comfortable using the word evil to describe evil. The good thing is I’m aware that evil exists -- and it’s out to get me. Later today I’ll decide to replace evil with paranoid after combining a clove cigarette with deep breathing exercises; otherwise known as a near-death experience.

Johnny Bosco is smart. He’s learned that incessant pre-dawn yelling does not always produce the desired result. Now he positions himself directly atop my face and extends his claws into the loose skin around my eyes. And so my first taste of consciousness is pure primordial terror. Well trained, I pry Johnny Bosco from my eyelids and open a can of Fancy Feast before fully appreciating the pain.

Every day I try to finish six pages. Twenty minutes before noon I stagger back into the inner-sanctum and edit yesterday’s output. Here is what I was able to salvage from Chapter XXIV:
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Slowly, ever so slowly, Prince Elmer wiped his massive sword across the slave girl’s gleaming black bottom, honoring an ancient warrior tradition with each deliberate pass. As his muscular forearm glistened like a young penguin’s back, Prince Elmer’s blank expression turned fierce remembering Lady Fisch-Leigh’s eye-stinging treason.

The phone rang.

(I was tempted to leave in the ensuring conversation between my hero and his mother, Dowager Queen Shelly Belle, but decided to save it for less serious creative writing -- like this blog or tax forms).
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Juan’s take on “A Pledge to America”

After Nosan and Jerri von Kreppler’s teenage son, Nosan Junior, drove the family car into Lake Byrd Emulsion for the fourth time, Nosan Senior finally put his foot down. Nosan Junior’s driving privileges were suspended until he exhibited signs of responsibility. Jerri felt sorry for the boy. She persuaded her husband to let Nosan Junior write a pledge promising never to drive into Lake Byrd Emulsion again.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I pledge never to drive your car into the lake. And I really mean it!

Satisfied, Nosan and Jerri waved goodbye to their son as he sped off. Forty five minutes later they watched in stunned disbelief as the same tow truck driver returned their wrecked, wet vehicle. Nosan Junior dashed upstairs. A few minutes later he handed his shaken parents a note.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I pledge never to drive your next car into the lake. And THIS TIME I really, REALLY mean it!!!