Richard Iott, tea bagger patriot and Republican candidate for Ohio’s 9th Congressional seat, goose-stepped around in a Nazi SS uniform. Richard didn’t confine his unique hobby to private, indoor bier fests; no, Richard (I’m going to rechristen him Dick) is a Nazi re-enactor;think goofballs who sport itchy costumes and play Civil War on weekends. Dick and fellow spooks fight make-believe Bolsheviks when not murdering Jews, Gypsies, tramps and thieves with unloaded MP40s. When photos of Dick in his authentic SS Wiking wear surfaced, he had a perfectly reasonable explanation: Father and son bonding.
Sure, why not. Donning Nazi outfits and eliminating Slavic sub-humans is more creative than fishing or coaxing a 1972 Beetle back to life. I image that Dick was surprised when little Heinrich asked him, “Vater, would you join me in reprising the glory days of the Third Reich?” Perhaps the pale Bursche was unnaturally shy and spent too much time in the basement torturing stray cats, and Dick, desperate to connect with his odd offspring, jumped at any opportunity to get Heinrich some fresh air. I find myself struggling to bond with Gomez. There are times when I feel guilty sharing vodka and unfiltered cigarettes with my nine year old. But I do have my baseline bottom. Should Gomez ever ask me join in on a costumed-torchlight parade around the synagogue in Waffen SS Totenkopfe, I’d refill his glass and quickly change the subject.
Its doubtful Dick’s extracurricular activities will negatively affect Ohio’s sock monkey twirlers. Immune to cognitive dissonance, admiring a guy who lurks about public parks dressed like Sergeant Shultz is compatible with Obama-as-Hitler comparisons. Maybe a few paunchy patriots will have La-Z-Boy recliner epiphanies, but the chances are slim. Since the likely gaggle going to Washington next January will be a homemade quilt of “real” Americans, Dick strutting around in Wiking gray will blend in nicely with comparable Confederate finery. White sheets always stand out, of course.
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