Hen House Call

Hello.

Is this Juan Don?

Could be. Who’s this?

I’m Phoebe Nutt, Dr. Sutterer’s office manager. Mr. Don, our records show that you still owe 3,587 chickens.

Damn, that’s a lot of chickens for condyloma acumination surgery. The best my wife and I can handle is nine at a time. She drives a compact and I drive a small convertible. If you relaxed your policy of only accepting live chickens, we could pack our trunks and deliver a few more.

Why would the doctor accept dead chickens as payment?

Good question. Here’s another: Why does he want live chickens? Dr. Dookley was always eager to take McNuggets.

I’m not an accountant, Mr. Don. If transporting chickens is a problem, I suggest you contact Malan Brothers Fowl Emporium. They specialize in bulk live chicken delivery.

I know. My wife called them. They barter large caliber ammo for chickens. Believe it or not, we’re short on large caliber ammo. Look, I know where I can liberate some goats, maybe a cow or two…

I’m sorry, but the doctor doesn’t accept hoofed animals as legal tender. The practice is strictly chicken-for-services rendered. Hello. Mr. Don?

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Inspired by rum and Sue Lowden, the Nevada Republican running against Harry Reid. Additional inspiration by lime and Dr. Sutterer, Joplin’s favorite compassionate conservative physician.