I’m trying to find the right disability lawyer. The position requires just three criteria: no scruples; proficiency at Trivial Pursuit; and at least one intense six hour narrative featuring peyote. I forgot to mention that I never trust anyone who doesn’t laugh at my John Wycliffe, Catherine the Great and Richard Speck walk into an Applebee's joke. The two who have are like family to me. Don’t misunderstand; I’m not seeking a miracle. I know the odds of a retirement spent lying unconscious atop Caribbean beaches are grim. But it can work if the right players are in place. It has to be a team effort: Edison didn’t make light bulbs, after all.
Until I get all the wrinkles ironed out, Power Ball will have to do.
I have been sitting here for 25 minutes trying to figure out how to end the Applebee's joke, but I can't do it. John Wycliffe wasn't very funny, but then, neither was Richard Speck. Speck was probably the least amusing major serial killer this country has ever produced. I mean, Gacy supposedly once said that all he ever did wrong was operate a cemetery without license. Only America could produce serial murderers who can occasionally channel Henny Youngman.
ReplyDeleteThe only lawyer that comes to mind fitting the above description is Oscar Zeta Acosta and no one has seen him in years. You might want to just hire the guy on the back of the Yellow Pages. You have to figure anyone who is successful enough to afford that sort of ad probably knows a thing or two about chasing ambulances.