Community Outreach Fail

Anson,

I’d like to take the opportunity to thank you for writing a well-researched evaluation concerning Rep. Michele Bachmann’s presidential qualifications.  I look forward to future in-debt analysis of the other prospective GOP candidates.  

These two paragraphs were especially enlightening: 
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“Let’s see, married for a long time, mother of 5 children, very good lawyer though I have no idea her legal positions in court defending or prosecuting someone (but just being a good lawyer and making a living doing so says something regardless of politics), numerous (but I don’t have the details) community service projects long before becoming a politician, and MOST important it seems the (sic) she and her husband have provided aid to at least 23 foster children along the way.  Now is that last one a political smoke and mirrors play or did they really do it?  I don’t know for sure but it has my attention for now.

Is she tough?  My goodness it seems so.  She has the beautiful smile (is that sexist?) but God almighty there is real steel behind it when you try to take her on in her stated positions.  I like that in a man or a woman.  Sarah Palin does that too and I like it, regardless of her politics.  Of course both are called “stupid” by the left but that is just political BS.  At least they know what the (sic) want and say it, honestly.  I wonder if Hillary is equally “stupid” simply because she is a woman????”
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Although I was hoping for more information regarding what Bachmann and Palin “want”, I’m heartened to know that they want it “honestly.”   I’d feel cheated if they were behaving dishonestly in their quest for easy money.   As for Hillary, she does indeed share a common poon with Michele and Sarah.   It’s not “sexist” for crackpots to harbor suspicions of what might be lurking inside her Pandora’s Box.  Had Adam taken Eve’s offering and fucked it on the spot, I doubt that Man would suffer the agonies of self-awareness or be condemned to endure an eternal lust/revulsion tussle with what Dr. Dobson accurately described as “Satan’s twat.”   Then again, Dobson’s mother beat him with a girdle -- the Joan Crawford kind with biting metal straps.   A good Christian woman, Mrs. Dobson never swung the heavy girdle she was wearing.  She kept a specially designated bare butt spanker (feared as the Lord’s Unmentionable) atop the family’s King James:  Myrtle frantically tugging on her grayish undergarment and exposing the terrified child to Eve’s bushy abomination is why neurotic undergrads eventually sniff their way toward a career in Clinical Psychology. 

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“But I am not an investigative reporter from the left simply digging for dirt.  I remain for now one of the 20%.”
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Who constitutes “the 20%?”  I’m curious because the convertible is having transmission problems and I don’t want to be stranded anywhere near “the 20%.”   My ravaged Bocce Ball knee makes fleeing on foot impossible.  Even though Obama’s “half-black” genes mugging his “half-white Republican” DNA is always a disturbing read, time spent detailing features unique to “the 20%” would help this beatnik avoid an unplanned escape.   A map showing where you and your minority reside would be handy, as would descriptions of tell-tale physical characteristics.  For example, do you and your minority share similar congenital defects, such as lazy eye or neurofibromatosis?  Or perhaps wearing white socks with flip-flops is how “the 20%” spot fellow crackpots when verging about Wal-Mart’s Spartan liquor department. 

I can’t wait until you tackle Newt Gingrich’s storied political contributions to American morality with trademark misspellings and a writing style best described as Cutty Sark-addled illiteracy.